Stewardship

Matthew 25:14-30 (NLT)

\”Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone…\”

I ache all over. All the time. I try to avoid bending to pick up stuff from the floor because it makes me groan. My left knee hurts from getting up from the floor with a heavy child over and over again. The muscles underneath my C-sections scar don\’t necessarily hurt, but I\’m pretty sure some of the nerves still haven\’t fully grown back yet (and probably never will). My neck and shoulders ache. I have no core muscles.

I haven\’t taken care of myself, let\’s be honest. I have two young boys, a husband, a full time job, and a home to take care of. I\’m not a super-mom. Most of the time, I feel like I\’m just barely swimming to the surface. \”Gasping for air\” as it were. AND WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, LIKE OMGAH.

I am just barely able to fight for a sense of self-identity. So how in the name of all that is as delicious as chocolate ice cream and soft as my post-partum paunch am I supposed to take care of myself in the midst of all of this?!

For the last few years, I have been contemplating this idea of Stewardship. It\’s not a word I\’ve heard used outside of Christians circles very much (although maybe it\’s used more in the service industry), but the idea of a steward has to do with someone who puts their \”master\’s\” resources to use. A good steward is someone who uses what they are given well, looking for the best possible outcome.

How do I steward my resources well so as to have the maximum output? More specifically, how do I steward the resource that is my physical body well so as to increase my ability and capacity to do God\’s work as well as I possibly can?

The conclusion of the story in Matthew 25 is that the servant who was given little did little and was thrown to the darkness. The other two men, given different amounts, were both rewarded with greater responsibilities and were celebrated by their master (can we say \”boss\”? Or is that not quite the right connotation?).

I feel like my body is telling me I am treating it like the irresponsible servant treats the money in this story. It is slowly becoming more and more of a burden than a resource. Similar in feel to the irresponsible servant\’s sack of cash, which was covered and hidden in the earth to gather dirt and rust, I can feel my muscles and joints complaining that they aren\’t being used quite right. So rather than dragging this \”burden\” around for the rest of my life and letting it gather dust, my goal as I write this is to find ways to invest in this resource to increase its ability to do and affect more of the world. Lord help me, I hate working out, but let\’s start there. I\’m not quite able to stomach the Healthy Food portion of body-stewardship (I\’m still nursing my youngest, so I\’m reluctant to change anything too quickly, and let\’s face it, I love cheese and chocolate too much right now), but I do want to start working on strengthening and stretching my physical self.

Our family has a few games we\’ve purchased on our Nintendo Switch for fitness over the last year, which has come in handy with the Pandemy happening, along with the generous \”donation\” of an Oculus from my brother, which has Beat Saber installed.

The challenge is to do at least one of these 5 out of 7 days in the week (Do I get a reward if I get 7 out of 7?! Ideas please). The challenge is figuring out a fixed time, since the every hour of the day at home has been chaos lately (WHY IS NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE SLEEPING). SO, the goal will be to do one workout as soon as both of the kids are sleeping (around 830-9 pm). This will hopefully give me about an hour of time to either clean (which sometimes feels like I\’m grating my soul with a cheese grater), or do things like this: blogging/writing, reading, journaling, etc. (Basically, this means I will never sleep ever again.)

Wish me luck, ask Jesus to tell me to get up once in a while. I am in a season where I am fighting for my SELF, digging in to find out who God created me to be, and trying to clumsily enact that identity outward to the rest of the world. There will never be enough hours in the day, and I also need to learn to be present and grounded in each of the tasks and responsibilities set before me, praying that this all comes to something in the end.